I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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