we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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