if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
