She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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