shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
