Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i would punch a child for taco bell
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
