Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am one with the molecules
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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