thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
