All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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