Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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