The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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