i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Houston, we have a blender
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
