my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
