So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
