that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
