ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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