i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
