I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
