what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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