I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
