Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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