yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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