I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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