So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
dude. I can hear the air.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
