Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
