I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
