Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
