I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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