Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
