I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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