My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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