And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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