used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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