Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
