Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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