Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
