I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
