Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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