At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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