we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
