Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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