My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
