and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
