where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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