I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
