I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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