i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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