Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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