I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
