; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
