Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
